Already a fire hose of bad things (pt 1)

I’m going to have to break this one up into several parts because I do not have the time to cover it all in one day. I don’t know about the other services, but in the Navy, we had to learn basic firefighting skills (see the Forrestal disaster), so I’ve held a fire hose. While it’s now been well over 30 years since boot camp, I remember the feeling of trying to not lose control of it any second.

You know, I seem to remember when Obama and Clinton were in office, Republicans complained about them “ruling by fiat” by signing “too many” Executive Orders, Presidential Memos and Presidential Proclamations. I don’t think any president in my lifetime has signed 26 EOs plus a ton of memos and proclamations. This article does a good breakdown. Biden only did 9 his first day, and 22 total his first week. That had been a record until this week.

I went to WhiteHouse.gov to look up something, and EWWWWWW. There’s a very nationalistic video that plays the first time you go to the main page, ew, ew, ew. [There is a difference between patriotism and nationalism and deifying a “Leader” that this video does. I’m a little frustrated, because the EO’s don’t list their EO number like a NORMAL president, just his bombastic titles. And it’s sometimes difficult to tell if it’s an EO, PM or PP. Anyway, here’s some things he’s already tried to do:

  1. “Ending illegal discrimination and restoring merit-based opportunity” – As with a lot of Repubilcans’ laws/statements, this is exactly the opposite of what it says (see: “Right to Work”). The order is saying DEI/DEIA policies “violate the text and spirit” of civil rights, calling it “illegal preferences and discrimination.” He is revoking Executive Orders and Presidential Memos back as far as 1965’s Equal Employment Opportunity order. This is a nightmare. It is framed over and over again as protecting civil rights, when it very clearly does the opposite. Essentially, if you aren’t a cis-hetero white guy, you don’t deserve a job with the government or any government contractor. Read the full text, it’s setting us back 60 years. With this, he’s also ordering all DEI staff to be placed on paid leave, starting TODAY, Jan 22, 2025. At least they’re getting paid, at least for a little while. What’s even more wild, is all the media I can find on this is either neutral or IN SUPPORT of this. Insane. What happened to that famed “liberal media”?
  2. Keeping Americans Safe in Aviation. This is more of the same – DEI is hurting the FAA, so they need to stop trying to recruit marginalized people.
  3. Guaranteeing the States Protection Against Invasion. He bloviates about how there were too many “illegals” (read: undocumented) people entering the country under Biden. This is . . . . not true. Politifact rated Vice President Kamalea Harris’ statement in October 2024 of “As of today we have cut the flow if immigration by over half” as TRUE. Politifact says that between December 2023 and the end of September 2024 it was down over 70%. And, of course, DJT killed the bipartisan border bill last summer.
  4. Restoring Names That Honor American Greatness – renaming things back to Confederate “heros” and removing Native American names, especially from Denali in Alaska. This one has been fairly well reported.
  5. Designating Cartels And Other Organizations As Foreign Terrorist Organizations And Specially Designated Global Terrorists (doesn’t he have ANYONE on his staff that can write better titles?) This is the one where he wants to invoke the Alien Enemies Act – which, we all know what happened the LAST time that was invoked, right?
  6. REFORMING THE FEDERAL HIRING PROCESS AND RESTORING MERIT TO GOVERNMENT SERVICE (I did a copy/paste and, yes, it’s in all caps). They sure do have a different definition of “merit” than I do. This is more of the same from #1. Diversity bad. Within 120 days, OMB (interestingly, the real page for this reroutes to whitehouse.gov, it’s like the OMB doesn’t actually exist), OPM, DOGE, and “assistant to the president for domestic policy” will develop an entirely new Federal Hiring Plan that prioritizes efficiency, “passionate about the ideals of our American republic” and “prevent the hiring of individuals based on race, sex, or religion”. Again, read the full text, if you can take the time. He also wants to decrease the time to hire to 80 days. That part would be nice, but in order to do it, well, they’d need to hire a lot more HR people, especially since also wants to make sure the Secretary and Director levels are involved in every step of the hiring process.
  7. Ending Radical and Wasteful Government DEI Programs and Preferencing – how many times is he saying the same goddamn thing? But the scary thing? A lot of people don’t realize that veterans’ preference in federal hiring can come under this and the federal government is the largest employer of veterans and disabled veterans. Honorably discharged vets get a 5-point preference in hiring. Veterans with 30% or more disability rating get a 10-point preference. If you’re removing DEI preferences, that effects a whole lot of people, many of whom voted for this.

I’m going to stop there because I am so worked up, if I’m going to sleep at all tonight. . . . I can’t talk too freely about some things that will affect me directly, but this is really scary on multiple levels. I know a lot of this is being reported heavily, but I think a few are going under the radar. I want to read them all myself, and writing helps me process.

I want to remind people that during the Holocaust, Jewish people were not the only victims. Disabled (mental or physical) people, Romani, political enemies, LGBTQIA people (and research!), communists, Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses (that one was new to me), people of color, political dissidents, anyone they could call “undesirable”, which eventually became . . . . . . a lot of people.

I am not being alarmist. Other people ranging from far left to centrists are not being alarmist and hyperbolic. I feel like I haven’t been loud ENOUGH.

I was one of those people that had an interest in WW2, from a perspective of “How did everyday Germans let this happen?”, looking to make sure we could avoid it. I read Albert Speer’s Inside the Third Reich on my own in high school. I read about The Third Wave experiment by Ron Jones (there’s a good movie, a novelization, and a German mini-series about it). I’m rereading They Thought They Were Free by Milton Mayer now. I had lessons in recognizing propaganda in history, English, and government classes. I guess I understand now that not everyone had that. But there was soooo much media about how bad the Nazis were when I was growing up. It was something to be avoided at all costs.

I know that there was a fascist faction in the US back in the 30s/40s. I know about the Madison Square Garden rally, I remember in the 80s and 90s the paramilitary groups, far right groups coopting skinhead and punk culture, infiltrating the military and police. Even then they were mostly targeting lonely young men, much like they are doing now. But I really thought we, as a society, were done with that. More fool me, I guess. They kept infiltrating, more quietly. And now here we are.

I started this in the morning before work. It’s starting to get late now and I’m losing steam. I’m hoping to publish mostly on Wednesday and Sunday, but this first week or two of the administration, it will be more.

What does this have to do with witchy and spiritual shit? Hang out a while and I’ll get to that. Hint: Witchcraft is, in and of itself, an act of rebellion.

Buy Me A Coffee

Ushering in the new authoritarian regime

In 2017, I watched DJT’s speech after the inauguration. You could tell that he actually had a real speechwriter for that one, as he made some real points and stayed on script throughout. But there were still the authoritarian allusions.

“At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America . . . . “

Total. Allegiance.

Sent shivers down my spine. 

“A new national pride will stir our souls, lift our sights, and heal our divisions.”

National pride. No dog whistles there, right?

I will not watch it this time. I can’t. Have you seen AOC’s insta about not going to the inauguration?

Last night, DJT was talking about Elon Musk “knowing computers better than anybody” and heavily implying his win in Pennsylvania was due to Musk’s interference. 

First, I highly doubt Musk is actually know computers “better than anybody” given he was judging Twitter employees by lines of code written.

But implying that he interfered with the voting machines…….look, I know we are in Fourth Reich territory,  but that seems pretty blatant.

I am currently reading They Thought They Were Free. It is pretty chilling how things seemed pretty normal to the 10 men Mayer interviewed.

I posted this quote on FB.

“….bringing bigness down, lifted littleness up….” that seems to describe DJT and his campaigns all over. Making people feel bigger than they are. Making people feel important while at the same time treating them as ignorant.

I understand that there are a lot of people who feel like the world is passing them by, the world their parents taught them to expect no longer exists. But none of DJT’s proposals will actually benefit them. The price of eggs is not going to come down, given that bird flu is a real thing, and flocks are still being culled.

This unholy alliance between low information voters and oligarchs who are taking advantage of everyone to build their wealth even more… I don’t understand how people can support and vote for the very people that are making their lives harder.

I am not watching the inauguration today. It is Martin Luther King, Jr Day, we should be celebrating a man who was killed for standing up for oppressed people, not a man who wants to bring back that oppression.

1/21/25: updated Constitution image so it doesn’t show twice.

Good-bye TikTok

Thoughts on DJT “saving” tiktok

TikTok logo

Last night, TikTok went dark for those of us in the U.S.

By 10am this morning, it was back up. But Trump posted this on his Truth Social:

screenshot of a Truth Social post from DJT talking about the TT ban

Look at that carefully. Is he saying that TikTok will be half owned by the US GOVERNMENT??? Or just by a US firm? I can’t tell, but either way, with, of all people, TRUMP saving TikTok this way . . .. .. . I don’t think I can stomach it. (I mean, we wouldn’t be in this position in the first place if he hadn’t started pushing the ban in 2020!)

I have really enjoyed TT, even though I haven’t posted that much. I’ve learned a lot of things about rare medical issues, deeper anti-racism stuff, been exposed to a lot of things I never would have been exposed to in other places. It’s been a lot of fun for my short attention span. FB & Instagram reels just aren’t anywhere near as good. YouTube shorts. .. . I don’t know, even though I’m trying to follow the same people there, it’s not hitting the same. If I do change my mind and I start to make short-form videos on YouTubeShorts or TT or anywhere else, I’ll let you know.

I feel I’m better at expressing myself in writing, rather than on video, but I was starting to WANT to try to get better at video. TikTok made captioning and editing really easy for almost anyone to get started with no experience or equipment other than their phone. The algorithm is so good, it gets you stuff you want without you even knowing exactly what you want.

Have you ever been on TikTok? Have you ever posted there? What was your experience? Let me know!

https://cdnjs.buymeacoffee.com/1.0.0/button.prod.min.js

Soooo, how have you been?

Photo of Lake Tahoe from user Anwic on Pixabay
Lake Tahoe, photo from pixabay, user Anwic Anwic – Pixabay

It’s been a while since I blogged here or anywhere else. I haven’t even been maintaining my private journal. I haven’t really been able to write at all. But, since the world is going to hell again, and the TikTok ban is supposed to take effect in a few days, I thought I’d try to resurrect a place where I can get my feelings out.

Looks like my last published post was from 2019, and, well, a lot of things have happened since then. One of biggest being that I left a place I’d lived for over 20 years, where my closest friend and my daughter and her husband still live, to take a promotion and moved to Carson City, NV, about 30 mins away from South Lake Tahoe. I’ve been here about 18 months now, and it’s a very different environment from Sacramento. (Another being the death of my Mom, but I am still processing that).

I’m still getting used to things here. I’ve been a bit isolated, and this time of year, I’m a bit on the depressed side. But I’ve been trying to get past that and do some more productive things.

I originally intended this blog to be about uplifting, spiritual, witchy, personal development stuff. But with the things that are happening in the world, I’m going to need a place to rant about politics. I had another blog that was using my legal name, but I’m going to need something with a tiny bit of anonymity. Be prepared for political rants.

On the Political Compass, I usually end up firmly in the 3rd quadrant: left-leaning libertarian (that’s a small ‘l’ libertarian, not a Libertarian!) Meaning: financially we should as a society be able to take care of the poor and vulnerable without sacrificing too much in the way of personal freedom. Stay out of people’s bedrooms. Treat people with kindness and respect (Religious instruction is for your place of worship or your home, not the publicly funded schools. Black Lives Matter. Stop Asian Hate. Your identity is valid (LGBTQIA+ supported).

Ideally, I’d be downright communist,  but I have a much more practical side, putting me somewhere closer to Democratic Socialist. Registered Democrat, voted for Harris in the most recent election.

I am a disabled veteran, so watching the Hedgepeth confirmation hearing this week was……not good. I have never really liked Joni Ernst, but I am still very disappointed in her decision to support him. She knows exactly what kind of bro he is, She has dealt with them.  For her to support him is an insult to all her veteran sisters. Duckworth was amazing, as she always is.

Anyway,  I’ve never been good about being consistent here,  but I like what Heather Cox Richardson and Amy Siskand did during the last Trump administration,  with the Letters from an American and the List. I would like to try something similar (though it will never be daily), showcasing some of the impact of this crazy time we’re somehow living through.

Personal Finance stuff

When I was super broke, I haunted personal finance sites, blogs, and forums.

I moved away from those in the past few years, dealing with a (another) change in career, cancer, a roommate that took a lot of emotional energy, part-time grad school and other online learning, and, as always, my mental health.

I didn’t have the bandwidth (or spoons, if you prefer) to deal with my money or to keep up with blogs and forums. And I slowly slipped deeper and deeper into the negative.

Now, I’m digging out of a mountain of debt. I’m too embarrassed right now to say how much, but it’s a number I couldn’t even conceive of 5 years ago. There are lots of reasons why it got this high, and I’ll probably talk about them over time. Right now, I’m in the stage where I am facing the actual issue head on (because I can deal with a crisis but I can’t maintain a smooth course*) and focusing on that issue.

That means going back to some old places, like Get Rich Slowly, The Simple Dollar (that site has really changed!), the (old) YNAB forum and similar places.

It also means finding some new places. JD Roth of Get Rich Slowly recommended Bitches Get Riches . They are hilarious and insightful and talk about life as well as money, check them out.

There’s a thread in the personal finance world that always used to upset me, and the Bitches really call this out in this post on making personal finance more inclusive. Here’s a piece:

Special suggestions for our fellow personal finance bloggers

Quit writing shallow, bullshit success narratives

There is a fine line between being encouraging and being full of shit.

When you say, “If I can do it, anyone can!” what you’re really saying is, “It worked for me, and my experience with people who aren’t like me is so limited that I have a hard time even imagining their existence!” Hard work, discipline, and sacrifice may have led you to financial stability. But it’s ignorance to suggest that everyone’s life circumstances put them on equal footing.

I don’t want to hear any more exclusionary nonsense about how people who can’t make it work are “complainypants” losers and whiners. If you honestly think that willpower is the only determinant to success, you’re ignorant as well as a jerk. And you’re using personal finance and your platform to flatter yourself.

Mr. Money Mustache got popular with this kind of narrative. I was never able to follow him for long. Ramit Sethi is another one like that.

My recently retired boss tried to pull a narrative like that on me once. He had been a government employee in one form or another for 35 years and was making more than $100k/year for quite some time, and usually had a 2 income household. Right about the time he bought a house for well over $500k, he told me that anyone at any income level could save money. I shut down that shit real quick with some highlights from my story.

Anyway, what financial blogs/sites/podcasts are you following these days?

Gardens

I didn’t have a lot of time to write this week. The political situation this week was insane, so here’s some happy inanity as an antidote.

On Saturday, BFF and I went to the Apple Hill area of Placerville. Most of the farms open next week, but a couple are open now. We spent too much money, but got some Ginger Gold apples, an orange-fleshed honeydew melon, sage honey, and a nice cover-up/scarf versatile garment. We stopped in the downtown Placerville area for lunch and wandered around in some of the stores.

 

Sunday, I went to my daughter’s new home and played in her garden. Found some cucumbers that were hiding from me last time, got some lovely tomatoes and peppers, and cut up some figs to dry.

At home, I processed a bunch of dried lavender that I picked earlier this summer. The lavender had been hanging to dry for a few weeks. I pulled the dried flowers off the stems and put them in jars. If anyone needs lavender, I might have more than I can use before next years harvest.

 

 

Here I am again

and again and again and again.

When I first started this blog, I was trying to work on self-discipline issues. And I still am.

So many things in my life are chaotic because of my lack of self-discipline and inability to form new habits.

I tried to start a bullet journal a couple of times, so that I could do habit tracking. I didn’t even make it one month each time.

I’ve bought lovely planners. Even when I remember to carry them with me, I only use them sporadically.

Right now, I have a list of a few things I’m trying to start. I have managed . .  . 4 days in a row of 3/5 of the list out of the last 2 weeks.

I’m listening to the audible book version of Atomic Habits hoping to use it to help. Clear talks about “habit stacking” – making a small change, then another, then another on top of each other. Which completely makes sense.

Until I start trying to implement it.

I know I’m not unique in this way. I mean, books like Atomic Habits or blogs like Zen Habits wouldn’t exist if I were unique.

But I continually feel overwhelmed trying to start new, healthier habits.

And I look back and see, I was struggling with the same things years ago. My house is not as bad as it was in 2013 when I wrote that, but it still isn’t the way I want it, either.

For right now, I’ve made a chart on a dry erase board for starting a few small things.

  • 15 mins of housework
  • 3 homemade meals
  • 30 mins of study toward a self-study course

I know to some people, making homemade meals and doing a minimal amount of housework sounds. . . piddly? little? bare minimum? But for me, even doing those small things on a regular basis would make a big difference in my life. Making all my own meals would help with both health and cash flow. I tend to do housework in large chunks when I have energy or am motivated. If I did even a little every single day, my environment would be so much nicer.

One thing I did last year that sort of forced me to pay attention to my environment was to start gardening. My apartment complex started a small community garden. Last fall, I took over a plot no one else was tending and planted a bunch of winter veggies as well as tended the perennial herbs I’d planted the year before. Then I went a bit crazy and started a bunch of plants on my porch. It required me to tend them pretty much daily, and I did well for 8 or 9 months. Then I got sick, was sick for about a month, then took another month to fully recover. I couldn’t bend over to fill the watering can or to pour the water. It was depressing and all the plants I started last summer died. I’ve just begun replacing them.

What healthy habits do you have? How did you get them established?

*Note: links to Amazon are affiliate links.

Image by Zoltan Matuska from Pixabay

Roller Coaster of Emotions

Wow. I knew I’d ignored my blogs for a while, but didn’t realize I haven’t had a substantive post since 2014! A lot of ups and downs in that time.

  • Summer 2015 – got a good job with grown up money and benefits for the first time in over a decade.
  • Winter 2015/2016 – an old friend needed a place to stay, and in the interest of paying the universe back for the help I received, I let him move in with me. Signed up for a Master’s degree online program. Then I got diagnosed with colon cancer. Since my daughter was grown up and moved out, having someone in the house while I was going through that really helped. Although I had to give up privacy that I crave. (Also, he’s an alcoholic, but that’s for another time). I had to put the Master’s on hold. Moved to a 2 bedroom apartment.
  • Spring and Summer 2016 – dealing with chemo, but also connecting to other women veterans through a new local group.
  • Fall 2016 – jumped into the Master’s program taking 2 classes, which really stressed me out.
  • Winter/Spring 2016/2017 – got a credential for work, was completely buried under with the Master’s. Over my head a bit. Ended up with C in one class I took, and had to redo it.
  • Fall 2017 – got a promotion at work.
  • Winter 2017 – forced Roommate to go to the V.A. for addiction counseling. There was a whole big deal with the neighbor calling police and everything.
  • Spring 2018 – took time off from the Master’s to give myself a break and reevaluate if I wanted to keep going. My daughter graduated from university.
  • Summer 2018 – got sick of the alcoholic roommate. At this point, he’d lost a couple of jobs, started a new one and now was drinking regularly again. I couldn’t take it anymore. Asked him to leave.

So, up, down, up, down, up, down.

But that’s life, right?

I’ve missed writing, but in the time since I stopped blogging, I was somewhat disconnected from my emotions and spirituality.

Also, when I was blogging before and trying to make a business out of my witchiness, I was steeped in dozens of courses and other middle-aged white women trying to do a spiritual or coaching business. There was a whole circle-jerk of us? them? advising each other to up-level and increase your email list, and get the clients who will pay hundreds of dollars for a couple hours of talking with you.

I grew to hate it. Especially after one such coaching session, where I said I wanted to make a set of affirmation cards or something like that and the coach insisted I needed to do intense coaching sessions to make money, just like she was. No. That isn’t what I want to do. Then she insisted I put more coaching sessions on a credit card I didn’t have.

I don’t want to hustle to find broken women and take money from them, often when they are at a really low point. And it began to feel like a multilevel marketing scam.

No, I liked my blog when it was just me, trying to figure life out. I’ve really wanted to get back to blogging for a while, but couldn’t find my voice. I think it’s important for me to get back to it, to center myself again.

How are you doing? What have you been up to the past 5 years? FIVE YEARS, good grief.

 

 

New Routines

Image

For a long time, my evening routine, such as it was, consisted of coming home exhausted, getting on the computer, and staying on it, even if I wasn’t doing anything at all, until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. At least when I’m working.

And when not working, even less than that. It would be a “good” night if I spent time exercising or cleaning or anything at all, really.

Lately, I find myself turning off the computer, putting on a new age station on Pandora and sitting on the porch as twilight turns to dark.

Sometimes, I simply sit.

Sometimes, I read – right now: You Are Here by Thich Naht Hanh.

Sometimes I write, either in my personal journal or working on The Desire Map or one of my other journaling/goal setting notebooks. A couple of times, I’ve taken my watercolors out there, too.

I think it started with the Mindfulness class I did at the VA Mental Health Clinic. I started meditating in silence, which I think I’ve mentioned was a little new to me. And I began to crave the quiet time.

And then Tuli came along.

She’s so different from Pumpkin.Image

She likes being outside (Pumpkin didn’t like open spaces).  But it’s dangerous around here, so I can’t really let her out to just explore.

As often as possible, I open up the sliding glass door to the porch and let her go out there.

Having the door open somehow makes me want to go out there more.

I’ve spent more time out there in the last month than I probably have in the 6 years I’ve lived here combined.

I keep wondering why I didn’t do this ages ago. It’s pleasant and relaxing. My allergies act up a little, but still, it’s nice.

Next step: work yoga into the routine, either in the mornings or evenings. I need more movement in my daily routines.

Pagan Blog Project: H is for Herbs

When I was a baby witch, just learning my craft, I got really into herbs.

From Pixabay
From Pixabay

Like REALLY into. 🙂

I had the classic Herb Book, which is likely still in my library somewhere!

I bought herbs at magick shops and food co-ops.

I had mason jars and containers full of herbs.

Cooking herbs.

Healing herbs.

Essential oils.

Tinctures.

I made my own incense.

I made massage oils and candles.

I made tea (technically tisanes) and potions.

Wet and dry potpourri.

Cordials.

I’m not much of a cook, but give me a shelf full of herbs and a pot of water, and I’ll mix something that smells good, at least.

At various times, I’ve had herb gardens.

Herbs are at the heart of magick for me. laurel-272961_640

In pretty much every culture, there has always been a healer, a witch, a wise one that knew the ways of plants and how to use them to ease suffering or to conjure dreams and visions.

And this is another thing that somewhere along the way I lost touch with.

I had an herb garden when C was a baby. When we lived in Washington, there was a huge herb farm nearby (which seems to have “retired” now).

But as we moved around, I had to leave behind living plants, or give up space on my shelves for things that had a higher priority.

I used up or got rid of my stash.

Eventually, all I had were the basic cooking herbs.

As our financial situation worsened, and my daughter grew, and my faith waned. . . I gave up my herbs. I gave up my magick.

Last summer when I was going to one of the local farmer’s markets, there were big bunches of purple basil and mint.

I brought them home and used some of the basil for a tomato sauce and mint to flavor my water, but I didn’t want to waste the huge bunch, so for the first time in a long, long time, I hung up my herbs to dry.

Weeks later, I was looking for my regular, old, bought-for-cooking dried basil and couldn’t find it.

Then I remembered, among my cluttered shelves, I had hanging this beautiful basil.

My mortar and pestle, if I still have them, are in storage, so I pulled the leaves off the stems into a bowl and rubbed the dried leaves between my hands to make them smaller.

As I was doing it, I wondered, “How did I ever get away from doing this?”

My hands smelled like fresh basil, and the taste of the herb was strong in my sauce.

Basil is for flying, faithful love, and drawing money to you.

I felt so good to be doing that simple thing. Refreshed.

One of my Core Desired Feelings is “Restored”.

I felt restored.

As my daughter is pretty much grown up now, and I’m rediscovering who I am without the “C’s mom” added to my name, I know that I need to bring the herbs back into my life.

I regret leaving them behind and not bringing my daughter up with the full appreciation of the art of herbal magick.

I don’t know if I can realistically fill up my shelves again the way I did in my early 20s, but I want to start again.

I wonder if the apartment complex will notice if I cut a few rosemary branches?