Category: Business

Changing tracks

Image

My life is going through some transitions right now.

I’m working a lot of hours at my day job. That’s a good thing because it means I have steady money coming in.

Steady income does a lot for my mental health. Not worrying about if the basic bills will get paid is a huge load off my mind. I’m not rolling in money, but I know the basics are covered – and that reduces my stress immensely.

I haven’t had any time to pay attention to the blog or to business lately. I’m even cutting back on tutoring!

Which has me thinking about what to do with the blog.

Instead of walking away from it, I want to write on a more regular basis. I think it’s a good outlet for me.

But I’m not sure how the business side will be. I don’t have time to do readings, so for now, that’s down.

I still feel that I have valuable things to say, and I want to write.

As you can see, I’ve changed the look and feel of the blog. I had been on Blogger forever but decided to move to WordPress. There’s supposed to be better customization and widgets on WordPress. We’ll see. So far, I’m not finding it as intuitive as Blogger, but I’m learning.

The theme will likely change a few more times before I settle on something.

I’m being a bit rambly now, so I’m going to end. 🙂

Let’s talk about money & business

I thought I’d give you guys and myself a little run-down on my income for this year, since it’s the first year I’ve tried to make money with this blog.

 My tutoring income is one of my lowest since I started doing it – but I did not advertise or really hustle for clients at all.

Source
Gross
Fees
Net
AdSense
$8.95
$8.95
YNAB Referral
$6.00
$6.00
Leonie Referral
$93.95
$93.95
Amazon
$11.85
$11.85
Tarot Sales
$1,210.00
-40.66
$1,169.34
Tutoring
$3,340.00
$3,340.00
Totals
$4670.75
-40.66
$4,630.09

Now, Amazon doesn’t pay until you reach $10, so I do have another $0.51 earned there that’s unpaid.
Google Adsense doesn’t pay until you reach $100. Total, since 2009, Adsense has earned $24.98 from several of my blogs.
The fees mentioned above are PayPal fees.
I have not yet added up buying office supplies, paying for my URL, or any other business expenses, but my profit is likely really small. 
I guess I thought it was important to post this because when starting out, a person may NOT get a few thousand a month right away. “Get your first 5 figure month in 3 months, starting with nothing!!!”
Yeah, no. 
It might work like that for someone that already has a huge list or can pay for advertising, or knows someone who will pimp her stuff.
But most people don’t.
I could have made more, and I know it.
When my energy ebbed in the summer, I got behind on completing readings. Then I felt guilty for not getting them done on time. 
I didn’t feel like it was a good idea to push and advertise for more sales when I wasn’t fulfilling my obligations from sales already made.
I’m hoping that this will also encourage me. If I can do better in 2014 than I did this year, then even if I don’t meet my own sometimes lofty goals, I can still track how I’m doing, and see that I’m better.
Here’s the thing, though. I don’t know if readings is really what I want to do.
I started doing them because it was something I could do, already had the stuff for and people would pay for – NOT because I’m totally passionate about doing readings. 
I LOVE doing readings, but I love doing them when I feel like doing them, not when I *have* to.
What I think would be better, for me, is to create something that could sell itself even when I’m at a low-energy point.
For me, products might be better than services, because I can’t/don’t have the energy to be consistent with services. 
Next problem: what could I write or create that would sell? 

Heading into a new year

Unprofound

It’s been more than a month since I posted about Changes.

I like the work I’m doing for the small company, but there are some things I need to keep an eye on.

Thanksgiving week I flaked and didn’t do all the work I was supposed to do. It’s not fatal to me, but it meant I had to talk to the owner about a couple of uncomfortable things.

I’ve been running hypomanic – not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately, I’ve only been partially productive.

I’ve been thinking about all the work I did earlier in the year on business and this blog.

Where do I go next?

First, I want to talk about some of that work.

I listened to and watched dozens of “telesummits”.

I downloaded workbooks.

I brainstormed.

I talked about it.

I started selling

I “invested” in a couple of small things and one big thing. I was able to arrange a payment plan for a big course. And then, two or three weeks into the course, I collapsed and didn’t finish the course, or pay for it (yet).

I joined a couple of communities for support.

I did make some money. Not nearly enough to live on, but enough to show that it was possible for me to make money.

I became overwhelmed, though, not with the actual running the business, but with all the “this is how to run your business” information flooding my inbox.

At some point, they all began to look the same. They were pushing their own products to tell me how to run/set-up my own business.

I became aware that a couple of them were not much further on the road to creating a business than I was. And that’s fine, really, because part of what one needs when seeking help is to see that someone else has done it or is doing it.

But they were all sounding alike.

And one of my favorites. . .

She released a new course.

I quickly realized that it was very similar to her old course, and it still included some stuff lifted directly from another source (she did give credit to that source).

All of these sources started out wanting to help people. And somehow they always ended up convincing each other to help people build businesses.

It got overwhelming and repetitive at the same time.

And I kept getting stuck at defining my purpose and my ideal client.

I don’t know.

I don’t have an “ideal client”.

I want to help people, and I think straddling the lines of logic, spirituality, and mental illness, my experience is unique.

I also watched several people start out with reasonable offerings and watch their prices double, triple or more in a short period of time.

Now, I know why. Once you get popular, your time becomes more valuable. If you’re doing one-on-one coaching or readings or anything else that takes your time, you need to charge enough that you don’t become overwhelmed, taking too much of your time away from family and so on. And one deserves to be compensated for their time. I get that.

But the advice became uniform: give summits/classes. Sell packages. It doesn’t matter if you’ve even actually created the content yet. Sell it first!

I don’t like that. I just don’t.

I get that you don’t want to spend a lot of time creating something no one will buy, but you really want to sell something you haven’t created yet?

So, no, I’ll never do that, and if that’s what it takes to be successful. . .  then fuck it, I won’t be successful.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to turn this little blog into a full-time job.

And I don’t care.

I like writing the blog. I like giving readings. I want to write a book.

If other people enjoy that, then great, maybe I’ll make a little money here and there.

If not, well, ok then.

Now that I have income coming in from another source, I’m not totally stressed, and can do what I want with this.

So, I’m still here. I’m still struggling balancing my life with the bipolar. I’m still giving readings. I’m still writing, though less than I was.

Part of why this comes up is that Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Life and Biz workbooks and calendars are out. If you’re interested in buying them, I’m an affiliate so buy through that link. 🙂

This may be the last year I buy it – I think I may make my own for next year.

Just a little random update

Some bits of randomness.

Stairs at a fishing spot in William B Pond Rec area
just taking one at a time. . . .
  • I contacted my doctor. 
    • If you are a vet and use the VA for medical care, MyHealtheVet is getting more sophisticated all the time. Once your account is verified (by bringing an id to your local VA), Secure Messaging allows you to contact your doctor(s) through email for non-urgent issues. Godsend, really. I’m MUCH more likely to contact people via electronic messaging than by calling. A few months ago, I could only contact my primary care doc, but FINALLY, my pdoc is on there – and he’s even more responsive than the primary care.
    • His response: Sorry to learn that you are not doing too well. Just a word of advice, while you have the right to appeal for increased benefits, it is important not to look like your recurrence of symptoms are not due to either job or financial stress, but only due to underlying mood disorder. I will explain in details when I see you.
    • Ok, so English is not his first language, but the way I read that is that he thinks my current issues are primarily because of my financial stress and if so, when that’s taken care of maybe the mood disorder would be more manageable. 
  • We’re getting closer and closer to C starting college. 
    • She went to an information session about work-study yesterday. 
    • I got something from the county Veterans Service Office for her fee waiver and she was supposed to take it to the school’s veterans office today. 
    • She is supposed to be writing her resume for work-study today.
    • She has a little over 7 weeks until she turns 18. She’s been talking about moving out. 
      • On the one hand, I think it might be good for her to stay home for the first semester, while she gets used to college and figures out how to handle her money a bit better. We’ve talked about her paying a little rent here to get used to it (and help out a bit). She’s also supposed to be taking over paying her own phone bill.
      • On the other hand. . . . if her stuff wasn’t here, the bedroom would be cleaner. I could get rid of the bunk beds and get my bed out of storage. Get at least one dresser out of storage. I’ve started kind of planning around this. Kind of feel a bit weird about that – like I want to kick my kid out – which of course is not the case.
  • Minor obsessions – I get obsessed about things. 
    • Right now, one of the obsessions is probably pretty good. One of my new duties for my contracting job has to do with social media, so I’m doing tons of research and trying to figure out what can help the company.
    • Another. . . *sigh* It’s an old obsession. I really do need to take a step back from it. It’s becoming another source of stress. I need to let it go. 
  • Business – I’ve made no move toward doing anything for the business in more than 2 weeks. But I’ve just sold another reading, so I really need to get to work.

Sort-of Vacay

It’s hard to take a vacation when you don’t have a day job.

One might say, “What do you need a vacation from if you don’t work?”

Answer: my life.

Despite spending too much time sleeping and/or sitting around doing nothing, I’m still often stressed.

There’s the huge list of, “I really should do” stuff.

And the messy apartment.

And ten thousand stupid things my head won’t shut up about.

For a few years, my local BFF would come over and make sure I got out of the house every week. The last couplefew years that hasn’t happened for various reasons for both of us. And that’s fine.

But I feel guilty anytime I spend money on anything that isn’t an absolute priority.

My car is starting to have problems and sometimes I don’t have any money for gas, much less maintenance on the car.

I have a lot of friends all over the country, but few locally.

And I spend waaaayyy to much time online, which doesn’t actually help me relax.

Me and C outside the old part of Crocker Art Museum

I haven’t traveled for a vacation in a long time, although I have gone to the Bay Area a few times in the last year or so.

So, when my HS BFF wanted to come out to celebrate my daughter’s graduation and get away from her husband and kids for a few days, I said, “Hell, yes! Come on out!” We met in 5th grade and by the middle of 6th grade, we were besties, all through school. We visited each other in England and Italy when she was in college and I was in the Navy. When I lived near her and C was little, she would sometimes “rent” my kid for the weekend before she and her husband had kids.

She knows my situation, both the mental health issues and the financial ones.

We went out to eat a few times, went swimming, met with my local BFF, went to the movies, grocery shopping, drove up to Sutter Creek and looked at some antique places. But mostly, we talked and talked and talked. That was fantastic. I’ve missed that. Chatting on FB is just not the same, you know?

I needed this time with her something fierce.

We talked about everything, including some of my current issues: work, money, motivation, career direction, what’s next for me.

She gave me a lot to think about.

In the meantime, though, I’ve put off doing some stuff I need to do.

I’m really behind in doing readings that people have paid for. I feel really bad about that, and I’ve got some thinking to do about that.

I’m good at doing the readings. But I don’t know if it’s really a good direction for me to build a business around.

Obviously, I haven’t done well with the Blogging Challenge, either.

What direction now?

The last week has been rough for a couple/few reasons.

1. There was a heatwave for the last 7 days. I don’t do well in hot to begin with, and 105+ degrees (Fahrenheit) doesn’t help.
2. The air conditioning in my apartment is still broken. I’ve been having trouble with it for about a year and a half now. No one knows what is wrong. They’ve replaced everything except the lines. Tuesday they thought everything was fine, but it was over 85 degrees inside at 10pm. The expert can’t get out there until Friday (the 5th).
3. The brake lights on my car are doing this weird thing where one of them isn’t going out. So, I had a dead battery. I needed to replace the battery, but didn’t have the money and had to borrow that.
4. I’ve been staying at friends’ homes while waiting for the a/c expert.
5. All last weekend, I slept about 4-6 hours, broken sleep, not good sleep. Losing sleep is very bad for my mood state.

I feel disconnected from everything, even though I spent most of the day yesterday getting caught up on sleep. I thought I’d feel better after I slept, but I don’t.

I’m doing various things right now to bring in money, and even though there’s a lull right now, things will pick up a bit in August.

But my energy is scattered because I can’t concentrate on any of the things.

I’m trying to turn the blog into a business, and in some ways it’s starting to move. I’ve made a couple hundred dollars each month since I started doing the Tarot readings, a little more each month. My FB page now has just under 150 “likes”. On FB, people respond and we’ve gotten a few good conversations going. Those are good things. When I pay attention to it and post regularly, stuff happens.

I’ve been trying to think of what my next step with this business is.

If I want the blog and business to concentrate on the Tarot and Oracle card readings, the next step would be to start writing up a series of “how to” posts, and then eventually package them as an ebook or an online class.

Except. . . .

I started selling the readings so that I had something to sell, so I could get started right away. And I like doing them, and it’s going well. But I never intended for my blog and/or business to concentrate only on those things.

Whenever I start thinking about writing up training stuff, I just think. . . . There’s already so.fucking.much. out there. There are literally hundreds of books written on the topic, and I don’t know how to even count how many websites doing it.

I guess I feel like it’s not that difficult, like anyone can do it if they want to.

But is that true? Or is it just my mood state making me feel inadequate? After all, I’ve been reading on and off for about 25 years. Maybe there’s something in my head that could help people?

Just pick up a couple/few books and start practicing on people you know. Meditate on a new card every day. Keep a notebook and write up what comes up for you in the meditation. Practice, practice, practice. Make sure you read several books and get different perspectives. Maybe play with a little numerology or look into how the cards correspond with various aspects of the Kabbalah’s Tree of Life. . . .

I think part of me feels that if I start down that road, I won’t be able to change later, but as I write that sentence, I realize that is a silly fear – I’m in charge, I can always change direction or add to it.

So, I’m asking – Would any of my readers be interested in that?

I started writing up how I was learning a new oracle deck on FB in the “notes” section, but that didn’t garner any responses at all.

If you’re NOT interested in that, what would you be interested in?

Instructions on meditating, with things like email reminders to get you to take a few minutes to clear your head? Guided meditations?

More posts on how to get through hard times?

More posts on mental illness?

Feeling better about yourself?

Looking for some ideas here, if you’ve got anything, comment here or on the FB page.

Business: Networking and Social Media

There are things you are “supposed” to do to promote a business like the one I’m trying to get started here.

Part of that is to “be authentic” (pretty sure I’ve got that down – you guys see the good and the bad!).

And you’ve got to be “present” in social media on a regular basis – I’m probably a little too real there, but not really . . . pushy enough on the selling.

Having “mastermind” and/or support groups with others walking a similar path is supposed to help (when we’re not all comparing ourselves to each other!)

But there’s a problem with that sometimes.

First, I’m part of a couple of great smaller groups – my little masterminds (3 people each!) I love! One has been somewhat dormant, but when we do post stuff there, or talk, it’s good. In the beginning we had a couple of telephone conversations/meetings that really spurred us to get some stuff done.

But the somewhat larger groups. . . .

There’s supposed to be talking about what we’re doing in our businesses, yes, but asking for help, giving help and inspiration, TALKING to each other. . . .

And after a fairly short period of time, two that started out really, really well turned into advertisements for trying to sell to each other. In particular, two or three people that offer great services started spamming several groups at once.

It totally ruined the atmosphere.

So many of us stopped posting because of it.

Recently, a couple of people, including me, have tried to revive the groups in the spirit of which they were intended. And it’s failing.  I know one left in a huff because she felt she was being chastised. Others are just not even looking. Something I posted earlier today only had 3 views out of 79 people who are members.

I posted this in the group that I thought would get the most feedback. Three of these groups are somewhat nested in each other. Group 1 has 700 member, subgroup 2 has 79, subgroup 3 has 51. Everyone in subgroups 2 and 3 are in group 1 and some overlap between 2 & 3. So, I don’t want to post the same thing in all three places – that’s spammy and self-serving, even if I’m not selling anything.

And then there’s Group 4, which is totally separate, but still has a couple dozen overlapping people – so, again, I don’t want to keep posting it in different places.

But I thought more than 3 people would see it where I posted.

And they probably will, eventually. I’m probably overreacting – I do that sometimes, but I’m not the only one that thinks this happens.

Recently, another leader in the spiritual/self-help business community started another of these groups with the stated intention that it be for “authentically” connecting – which is GREAT. But there’s already over 400 people.

I’m afraid that this will start out gangbusters, and then it will die – again.

Maybe not – this woman has a large following and does good stuff, and it appears she wants to moderate the group. If there continues to be moderation, it might be good.

I think that’s the problem with the other groups – not enough moderation.

But why do we do that? We’re supposed to be supporting each other. To SOME extent that means talking about our services, but it should be so much more than that. Talking about:

  • How to find our target audience?
  • Sales techniques that don’t feel spammy, or too salesy?
  • What to do when X isn’t working?
  • Do we need support to get something going? Encouragement not to give up?
  • Help with pricing?
  • Feedback on our offerings? 
  • Testing our offerings out with each other?
Why did it turn into trying to sell to each other?
Where did the support go?
Today, during a nap, I had a dream that I really felt was about trying to build this business.
Last week, I was offered an opportunity that might end up helping me grow rapidly.
Taking advantage of the opportunity is a great risk, and I was really wishy-washy about it.
But earlier this year, saying, “Yes,” to a few things got me some well-timed help and information.
While I’m not making nearly enough money to live on, I have made moves to actually DO stuff, which I had not done in several years previous. 
This help and info got me moving – taking action – which is something I had been scared to do.
So, I spent several days consciously thinking about this opportunity.
And yesterday, I spent a great deal of time in meditation, unsure if I was making the right decision.
I still did not really reach a strong decision. 
But today, I took a nap, and I had this dream.  . . . and this is what I posted to this support group:
photo by cosmic dustbunny
As part of the dream, I was going to go skinny-dipping in this beautiful lake. As I got close to the shore, the  edge of the lake wasn’t nearly as nice as it looked from a distance, but that wasn’t going to stop me. 

I got undressed and started to go into the water. I expected it to be cool, but it was colder than I expected. Still not going to stop me, though. 

I start wading out. The rocks under the shallow water go from being smooth to pointy, cutting into my feet, and the water still isn’t deep enough to actually swim. But I keep going.

The water is about knee deep when I come to a drop off, where the lake suddenly gets a lot deeper. Suddenly, the water isn’t clear any more – it’s dark, almost black. Something moves under the water, and I can’t see what it was.

Now, I am suddenly fearful. If the water is this cold in the shallows, it MUST be even colder in the deep part. And I can’t see what’s in the water. What if there are dangerous animals? I really WANT to go swimming but I’m so scared, I freeze and just stand there for a minute, and then turn back. I’m mad at myself for turning back, but tell myself I will go get someone to come in with me, it wouldn’t be so scary then.

The dream morphed into something else then, in the way of dreams, but damn, if that and the disappointment I felt when waking up isn’t a CLEAR message to keep going, I don’t know what would be.

So, it’s scary, I don’t know where it leads, what’s under the water or where to go next, but damn if I don’t need to jump in and see.




So, I think I need to take the opportunity – if it’s still on the table.

The Jealousy: I Haz It

Right now, I’m fighting the Green-Eyed Monster on several fronts.

Writing

I think I’m a fairly decent writer.

However, I know a guy that can evoke emotion much more strongly than I do in his writing, seemingly effortlessly. I get more out there for others to read, and I proofread more, but he can blow me away with a turn of phrase or a strong emotion.

And my friend D. She writes these long, informative, researched and really good posts three times a week. She’s only been blogging since November last year, and she has only 20 or so fewer posts than I have, and she already gets more hits per post on her blog, has more readers.

I know how she does it. She’s consistent and she advertises it and sends messages and stuff to places and people where/who she thinks will be interested in her individual posts. (Although as I’m updating this for publication, I note she hasn’t posted in a month. I know she’s had some personal things going on, and hasn’t had the energy to write lately).

That is more than I do. I tend to only pimp posts I’m proud of, like the Compliments post and now the Intuition vs. Fear post.

But I could do more. And I’m starting to, now. But I feel as though I’ve been spinning my wheels staying in one spot too long.

I’m also jealous that she *always* has a point, and some research and/or quotes.

I *want* my posts to be more like that, but I tend to . . . whine about my life.

Health & Fitness

For awhile last year, I was doing really, really well. I was lifting on a schedule, counting calories, not only losing “weight” but reshaping my body, dropping body fat. There were so many great people that I connected to on My Fitness Pal that were doing the same things I was doing. And their results were way more dramatic than mine. 
I fell off the wagon, and I stopped connecting to those people. I stopped writing on my fitness blog.
Now when I get emails from the fitness inspiration people I signed up with, I feel guilty and just delete them without even reading them. 
To make matters worse, I’ve gained most of the weight back. Because I’m not lifting, my belly has grown again. I feel sluggish. I hate it. 
It seems like a lot of the blogs I read have this women who are in good shape. I mean, have you seen how hot Marie Forleo is?
Even those that aren’t slender, they’re all talking about eating organic, making green smoothies, going vegetarian or paleo, juicing, hitting the farmer’s markets. . . . and I’m just trying to keep food on the table which means a lot of rice, beans, potatoes (cheap and filling and lasts a long time). . . . 

Money, Career, Business

This one is hard to talk about for a lot of reasons.
I’ve spent much of the last 13 years posting on a set of financial forums. I know how to manage money. But I need an income stream to do it.
And through those forums, I know people. . .  I know people that travel and live part-time in foreign countries. I know people that have the money to travel, that can take vacations, that have homes, and jobs and retirement savings, and horses, and . . .  stuff I don’t have.
And I know this one fabulous guy who deserves everything he has. He has a job that makes damn good money, that he’s really good at (if a bit overwhelmed at the moment), and he just bought a house. Not just a house, a HOUSE. One of those dream neighborhoods, in fact a neighborhood where the median income is $126,000/year – and he fits right in income-wise. This home is huge, gorgeous, lots of trees, a pool, more rooms than they need. . . He deserves it. He’s a genuinely nice guy, he totally loves his wife, he’s very involved with his kid, he works hard, has a great education. And he’ll be the first one to tell you luck had a lot to do with all of it.
But when he was house-hunting, he’d send me pics of these . . . . manors. . . and I’d look around my one-bedroom apartment (that I share with a teenager) and I’d be soooo jealous. I’m happy for him, I really am. And he is the first one to say that it amazes him that he’s arrived where he’s at. I also know that it wasn’t easy for him to get there, and the last two years before now have been pretty rough. But yeah, the green-eyed monster is definitely there.
And business-wise. . .  I’m just starting here. I know that. I’m just starting to sell readings, and I’m writing a couple of things to sell, and I’m trying to flesh out some talks I might be able to give in the future. I’m in the beginning stages.

But I’ve spent the last 6 months completely immersed in reading and listening to amazing people, mostly women, who are already doing some things I would love to do. I look at some of their stuff and say, “I could totally do that!” And I think, “Why haven’t I done this earlier?”

All of these years I’ve been un- and under-employed.  . .. I could have been doing this all along. I could have used some of these techniques for my tutoring business. . . I could have started doing readings years ago. I could have taken courses when I had the money to do it. . . .

The truth is, I wasn’t ready for this until now and I know it. But I keep thinking I could/should be so much further along.

And of course I’m jealous about being able to afford to have someone design a real website and everything. I own my domain name, but I don’t have my own host. I want to use WordPress.org because of all the fancy plug-ins, but I can’t because that costs money I don’t have.

I would so love to get deeper into some of the business courses I’m aware of, particularly Leela Somaya’s new Quantum Leap Your Business course, but I have no hope of being able to afford it.

And teaching. . .  One of the women that I did student teaching with, another math teacher, got a job at my daughter’s high school. If I hadn’t fucked up, I could have had that job, since I knew most of the staff already.

Stop whining, already!

There’s always going to be someone in a better position than I am. Even if I win the lottery tomorrow, someone else will have more than I do.
Someone will always be smarter, stronger, prettier, more consistent, better at something, etc.
That doesn’t mean I’m not good at what I’m doing. It doesn’t mean I can’t or won’t be successful – it just means I haven’t gotten there yet. 
And everything isn’t bad.
I won third place in a video contest and got access to Leela’s Diamond package. I have been able to make a few small investments in the business, and I’m slowly moving towards making it what I want it to be.
I finished one of the TPAs. I didn’t pass it, but I’ve had a conference with the dean of my education department to figure out how to fix it.
I’m on the Board of a fledgling non-profit that deals with addictions.
I was able to get my pet declared an Emotional Support Animal, and now I know that no matter where I move, even if there’s a “no pet” policy, I can have my fat cat with no deposit or pet rent because of that (and I handled that situation timely and well, which is good). 
I’m taking part in a couple of mastermind groups, which are helping me with ideas for the business.
My gorgeous, smart, talented daughter graduated high school last week, and I made a small step towards repairing a relationship with a family member last week.
Some things are moving in the right direction for me, and I need to concentrate on those things instead of comparing myself to others. 
When I started to write this post, a couple of months ago, I posted in one of the Wild Sisterhood forums asking how others deal with jealousy. Only one person responded and she is Buddhist and said that she doesn’t deal with jealousy often. 
I know everyone deals with jealousy from time to time. It just seems like we don’t like to talk about it often. 
Have you had to deal with jealousy recently? How have you dealt with it? 

Tarot Readings

In the last few months, I’ve mentioned Leela Somaya’s Succulent, Savvy, Soul-full Business Revolution. I was looking for inspiration, to try to figure out something I can do to both help other people and help myself at the same time.

I mentioned in a post part-way through the summit that I had some emotional breakthroughs connected with doing something to start helping others with some spiritual work.

I’m still having trouble figuring out exactly what my focus is for that kind of work. But, I won a contest for the SSSBR that included a 30 minute coaching session with Leela.

During the conversation, I mentioned that I’m not consistent with my blog/webpage, and that I don’t market it consistently, even though I know some of the things I “should” do. She stopped the direction of the conversation and said that we needed to explore that, “Why haven’t you been consistent?”

Of course I’ve asked myself that, and not come up with any satisfying answers. But she said, “Maybe you don’t want it bad enough yet.”

That felt like a gut-punch.

Of course I want it! I’ve put off doing it for I don’t know how many years. I’m making so much progress internally. I’ve done all this stuff to get ready for it. I’ve put up more posts and actually taken steps to DO SOMETHING – which is much more than I’ve done, ever.

But I look at that paragraph right now, and it’s a lot of “I”. There’s no “what can I do for others?” there. And that needs to be my focus.

We also talked about the ebook/workbook I’m writing and she thought that I should offer a service instead of a product first. And then create a product around my service.

And I’m still not exactly sure what that service should be.

But what I *can* do, right now, is give Tarot readings.

I’ve been interested in Tarot since I was a teenager, and began giving readings for fun in my 20s.

I’ve only rarely charged money for it, and usually much less than the going rate for that kind of thing.

In my bad money times, I thought about doing readings in a local metaphysical store, but never got up the nerve to ask how to get started in the store that used to be near me, and now that store is closed.

I used to think that I had to do the readings in person, because it’s simple to connect with a person that way, and read their body language and energy during the reading.


But last month, I had a reading done online by Jess Carlson. I was astonished at how good it was (and if you don’t trust me because I’m just getting started online, buy from her. Seriously. She’s good. And I’m not an affiliate for her. If she had an affiliate program, I would be). She’s a Wild Sister, so I contacted her and asked a few questions. My style is completely different from hers, but she provided some good guidance.

I took a chance, and decided to do this.

I offered a few people test readings to get used to the format, and get some feedback on how the readings went.

I was nervous at first, scared that it wouldn’t go well, that I couldn’t do it in this format. But the response has been amazing.

So far, each reading I’ve done has seemed to help the people I’ve read for.

I remember when I first started tutoring and I’d come home from my sessions so jazzed that I seemed to be helping those kids. And now, I feel the same way about this.

If I can start here, and help people. . . Well, for one thing then I don’t feel totally useless. 🙂 But I also do want to help people reach clarity about issues in their lives, to help them look within and overcome their own fears and insecurities, to help them be strong.

And this is a beginning to getting there.

If you ever wanted to get a reading, I’m having a sale for the month of April, offering rock-bottom prices. I’d also appreciate it if you could spread the word. Post links on your Facebook, Pinterest, and other social media accounts, please. Tell people you know who may be interested, as well.

Thank you!

Spring – new growth.

First of all, I know there’s still snow in a lot of North America, but where I live, spring has well and truly sprung. Trees are blooming (which is why I’m awake at 3:30 a.m. – allergies!).

I don’t know what kind of tree the ones with the white flowers are, but the pink are from cherry trees, and the purplish flowers with spiky stems are from a rosemary bush.

Ever since we moved here (in 2001! I can’t believe I’ve lived in one place so long!), every spring I’ve said, “I need to get some pics of the cherry trees, because they’re so pretty!”

And I never actually get outside to take the pics before the blooms are gone. But this year, I actually did it! Woo hoo!

I have several partially written posts, but nothing complete enough to post.

I have been doing a lot of things behind the scenes, journaling, getting ready to start with Invincible Summer., and processing stuff I’ve learned through the Succulent, Savvy, Soulful Business Revolution.

Last week, I took a break from all things blog and business while sketching out something I’m working on.
In the meantime, I have been working on some internal stuff. 
I have listened to Jeneth Blackert’s talk on SSBR three times now.

There was so much in her almost 2-hour talk that resonates strongly with me.

In particular, she calls herself a “Change Agent” and says she won’t give people “answers”, she helps them ask questions. And just asking the questions helps people change their energy.

Some of the questions she asks are things like, 

“What is it that you know that you’re refusing to know and that if you stopped refusing it now would change everything?”

Think about that one for a minute. You don’t have to have an answer to the question. Just think about the question, and see how asking it makes you feel. A little uncomfortable? A bit excited?

 What dream have you given up long ago where if you chose it now would make your life a total joy?

Today on Facebook, she asked,

What is the most phenomenal thing that could happen now? 

And again, you don’t HAVE to answer the questions. Just ask them and see how you feel when asking them. That last one – for me, fear is the first thing that comes up. Why is that a scary thing? To think about something great that could happen? To picture something good happening? Why is that so terrifying? Because I’m not used to it? Because I don’t know how to handle it when good things happen? Why do I limit myself so much?

On Friday last week, Erika Watson talked about partnerships. Listening to her talk reinforced the idea that joining the Wild Sisterhood was a good idea, and so was creating the small mastermind group I’ve been working with. (Check out Esscentual Alchemy – the owner is one of my mastermind peeps!)

But I am still on information overload. There are several talks I haven’t even listened to yet. I’ve barely had time to process the ones I’ve listened to a couple of times and taken notes on. There’s several others I’ve listened to but not taken notes on, and mean to go back and listen to again. I’ve only just scratched the surface of the workbooks and bonus material. It’s so overwhelming.

But I also feel things shifting. Things inside me, things in my life.

It’s strange, because unless something drastic happens soon, next month is going to bring a lot of financial pressure and problems.

And yet, I’m not nearly as nervous about it as I think I should be.

The bills are paid for this month, and for now, that’s all I can do.

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